*This blog is a letter about me, to me but it might apply to you too*
I’m a former Kindergarten teacher. I have a 4.5 year old. People started asking me about his school plans when he was 3. I’ve been stressed out everytime I think about it for a full year and a half.
The way i’ve been stressing about this you would think that when you choose a Kindergarten you are signing a contract to remain there for the rest of their school career and it will directly impact all areas of their future.
I went to public school most of my education career. I taught at a Christian school. I have friends who do both, I’m home preschooling. My son would likely qualify for a tuition free gifted school nearby. Then there is full day, half day, affordability, maturity, convenience.
I’ve driven myself crazy…
We’ve thought he’d need an extra year because of his social anxiety..but then I watch him in his classes at church where he loves his peers and teachers and learning and fits in just fine….
I’ve thought about homeschooling his first year and putting him in in first grade but I also think about the experiences he might miss and the relationships he could be building…
I know all about Kindergarten readiness testing, i’ve performed a hundred of them at least.
I know about the pros and cons of public and private and classical and montessori and young fives and older fives…
I’ve looked at the budget and made fearful plans toward homeschooling because the school I feel God leading us too just doesn’t seem to fit in those numbers.. I can’t see the math. But then my husband reminds me that literally every good, God led decision of our marriage has been that way. God knows my weakness and tendency to want to plan and control and handle it all. He grows me by showing me situations I can not figure out, things I see as impossible and then time and time again making it possible. Making it beautiful and glorifying to Him.
So guess what.
I don’t know.
I’m an educator with a 4.5 year old and I think we know what school he’s going to because we feel like God has drawn us there.
But I don’t know when for sure. Will we delay him or homeschool him or just put him in in the fall? I don’t know.
I also have realized that’s ok.
Just like everything else I try to rush God into revealing for me so I can feel in control, I need to let go.
I am letting go.
God will direct out path.
He will make the timing clear.
He will provide the finances we need.
I just have to stop overthinking it and remember that it’s just Kindergarten.
So I am.