My Children Train Themselves

They do, my son is 3.5 and he basically trained himself to sleep through the night and use the potty.

He must have because I didn’t.

My children both walked at 9 months old, my son is a teacher’s dream, well-behaved, polite and eager. My 10 month old daughter will happily ride on my hip quietly for hours.

You can imagine I get alot of compliments on my children, like everywhere. I’m not joking I don’t think a week has gone by in 3.5 years where I have not gotten a compliment from strangers about my children and that’s great because they really are wonderful. Here is a little secret though, I’m not some super mom.

I’m not saying that in the way overachiever mom’s sometimes do with the pleased blush like, “Oh, I just threw together those 87 bakery perfect, healthy organic cupcakes, it was nothing, I’m not super woman!”

I’m saying it like, I am really not an especially great mom. I mean I think I’m a good mom, and I LOVE my children but i’m not breaking ground here. I don’t read to them as much as I could, I’ll throw on a tv show when my son gets a little whiny while i’m trying to cook dinner, they aren’t in classes to teach them stuff.

I usually look well rested and happy, and so do my kids because I just do what comes naturally, I let my kids decide when they are ready for things.

When you have early walkers people are always asking what you did you get them that way….umm genetics I guess?

When your family seems well rested and happy despite newborns or babies at home people ask. You know what we do, we sleep with our baby until they are old enough they can sleep on their own.

Jidge slept with us until 3, now he sleeps in his bed but his bed is still in our room. Lexi sleeps in our bed, when she’s ready they will move into a room together and sleep in beds.

That’s it, no tricks.

When my son potty trained himself he was ready. I say he trained himself because all I did was force the issue a little. I could tell he was ready and he wanted to (he kept talking about it and trying) BUT he was scared of the toilet so we stayed home naked for 3 days. I literally wasn’t even aware he finally started going until he called me to help him wipe. There was no transition period either, no accident phase. I mean it, he had one accident in the car the first week because he told us but we couldn’t get home fast enough. That’s it. I kept taking undies and changes of clothes and pull ups places expecting the constant accidents I see other parents dealing with but it never happened, he even gets up in the middle of the night to go pee.

No tricks.

Parents sometimes wonder why parenting seems so hard.

Maybe we make it that way.

Maybe we are the ones who think we should train our kids to do things that they will naturally progress to if left to their own devices.

Parenting is exhausting (because tiny people energy > big people energy) but it doesn’t have to hard or frustrating.

It can be a joy. My husband and I have laughed more at our son than any comedian I’ve ever watched and our daughter’s smile relieves more stress than the best massage. It will probably always be tiring but at least while they are little we can enjoy them more if we stop trying to train them to be something they aren’t yet: independent. Let it happen on its own because…it will, you can’t stop it and once they are you’ll miss this time.

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*Disclaimer, of course there comes a time and age when training kids to do things becomes necessary but i’m still in the littles stage so i’m talking about the littles stage 🙂

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Clean Eating: The Newbie Mom’s Take

I’m a little over 2 weeks into a shift to clean eating in my household. I had been researching it for a few months so when a friend ran a 30 day challenge it seemed like the perfect chance. I had hoped to transition our family to 75% clean eating (allowing for processed cheese and some premade bread, etc) but going hardcore 100% clean for 30 days seemed like the perfect way to jump in. Here are some things i’ve learned so far:

1. It’s hard. It takes alot of effort to plan meals and i’m probably spending an extra hour or so a day in the kitchen since i’m making everything from scratch.

2. You must educate yourself. Sugar has a dozen names and it is hiding in the most unneccesary places possible at the grocery store. Avoiding all added sugar means not just learning the names but alot of time reading ingredients even to buy something as simple as natural peanut butter (I had no idea I would have to mix and refrigerate that by the way, live and learn, but it’s delcious!).

3. It can be a little more expensive. My weekly grocery bill jumped by about $30 BUT in all fairness that kind of comes out in the wash since eating out is next to impossible so we are really eating all but maybe one meal a week at home where we used to eat out around 3 times a week (counting breakfast, lunch and dinners).

4. It is worth it. It really is. We have more energy, i’ve lost 10 lbs in 2 weeks, basically all from my waist and thighs, and most importantly I feel great about what i’m feeding my family. I know i’m not filling them with chemicals or sugars and we are already healthier for it.

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Birth is Birth, ditch all the labels.

*Now when your friend who is pregnant with their first child asks you for in depth stories of pregnancy because they want to know you go all in my friend, you tell them all you can because it may make them feel somewhat more prepared. *

But.

For the rest of us, birth is birth.

We don’t need: vbac, non-medicated, water birth, ceasarean, vaginal, home birth or worst of all “natural” (whatever that’s supposed to mean for the other unnatural? births). But really, we don’t.

These are just more ways to say “I’m a Better Mother Than You” and we don’t need that stuff.

I hate when women say “Yeah, but i’m just so amazed by moms who have unmedicated births they are so strong!”

Really? Because my non-medicated 2nd birth was a whole lot shorter, easier and less painful than one I got an epidural for. Yes, less painful. Easier. Medication was not some easy way out. My “medicated” birth (because I had an epidural) was far harder and more painful and more exhausting. (Oh and both my kids where posterior facing, should I get a trophy for back labor?)

And can I just say that women who are willing to be CUT OPEN to bring their children safely into the world are pretty freaking brave to me! Just cause I haven’t done it doesn’t mean I can’t guess that it’s freaking painful, they are doing that for the safety of their child (typically, let’s not talk about the convenience Cs I know happen because those women are a whole nother breed).

And why does where you give birth to a baby have any bearing? There are women who give birth in interesting places (you know like taxis or the curb of a New York City street) THOSE women can tell us because that’s interesting but most of the time…no one cares.

Stop labeling stuff that doesn’t need labeled! Birth is bringing a baby out of your body and into the world. All that other stuff is not important.

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