Usually when I hear people use the phrase “gender roles” it is not in a positive light. Modern culture suggests that women and men do not have gender roles, that they are equal and capable of doing all things the same (save childbirth).
We are supposed to earn like men, lead like men and all but be men. The problem is I. AM. NOT. A. MAN.
Just thought I would get that out there. Am I as valuable and worth while as a man? Absolutely. Can I do “everything a man can do”? No, not really. More importantly I don’t want to.
I have always been a strong opponent of most of the ideals of feminism as it is popularly held. I can feel more absolutely than ever though the joy and freedom of living within those gender roles now that I am staying home.
Am I an intelligent, educated and capable woman? Yes. Have I been the bread winner in our marriage before? Yes. Do I speak my mind and have a huge role in the decisions of our family? Yes.
Do these things change that my husband is the head of our household? No.
I defer to his leadership whenever an important decision arises, more importantly I want to live in a way that makes his life better and easier.
Why? Because I love him, because he loves me and because God placed him in the position of accountability for our home.
I have been living with one foot in for a while because despite my desire to be a good wife to my husband I found that after working full time and being a mom there was little time or energy leftover to devote to my poor husband. I could not cook him meals as often as I wanted, grocery shop or do the dishes to prevent them from being a burden to him or show him the kind, gentle support he deserved. Instead I often found myself splitting the household duties and getting grumpy with him over small things simply because I was stressed out from trying to be all things to all people.
Staying home has allowed me not only to devote myself full time to being a better, less frazzled mom to my children but also to being a better less exhausted, stressed wife to my husband. I don’t think I realized how much my entire household would benefit from my being home, in fact I felt guilt over doing so, but as I see the rewards play out I recognize that I am already reaping a harvest from this decision and it is confirmed daily that I made the correct choice.