You Made the Choice to be a Single Mom.

For 80% of you, you are a single mom as a direct result of your choices. Maybe you were having sex outside of marriage and got pregnant, maybe you based your marriage on the things the world says matter and it fell apart on you, maybe you are a teen mom, whatever the circumstances that led to you walking the parenting road alone for the vast majority the fork that led to this path was one you chose. You probably didn’t know what was coming when you chose it but you still are responsible for the choice. (The other 20% you didn’t choose the road, it chose you but you are choosing to walk it with strength. Maybe your spouse died. Maybe you were a victim of abuse. Whatever the case you are on this road now and you can hold your head high).

But you chose to have your child. To stay with your child. To raise your child.

This is important because there were other choices. Choices people make all the time.

You didn’t choose to terminate your pregnancy, you carried that baby and for many of you your were already alone by this point so you did it without a partner a feat I can not myself imagine.

You didn’t choose to give your child up. They are not a ward of the state, or grandma, or your whoever. They are yours.

And for the majority of you (not all because there are some rotten apples in every orchard) you did not choose to mail it in and use single parenting as an excuse for any shortcomings you have. You are out there everyday on the front lines of parenting. I see you in the pta meetings. I see you at soccer. I see you waiting for the library storytime. You are Mom and sometimes you are dad too.

Some of you have help from your child’s father. Some of you don’t. None of you have what you and your child deserve, a loving supportive father there to help every single night with tuck ins and bathtimes and nightmares.

Some of you have financial support. Many of you don’t. None of you have enough of it because it is always a sacrifice to live on one income and for you that sacrifice probably wasn’t a choice.

No matter what choice led you down this road there is one thing I can say for you sure. I respect you. I’m sorry you feel judged sometimes, overwhelmed sometimes and exhausted all the time if it makes you feel any better I feel all those things  for different reasons.

Here’s to you for making the best of a hard thing, I don’t think you get enough support and respect, so I wanted to say bravo.

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