The Childhood Time Warp

My own years of childhood seemed to take so long. Somehow ages 6-16 seemed like its own lifetime. Now I blink and it seems months pass. I do a load of dishes and my child looks less like a toddler, more like a tiny man. I go to work and suddenly my baby looks like a stranger, too big and vocal to really be my 3 month old. I’m not on anything, don’t worry. I’m just caught in the blur of life and my children growing constantly. Jidge turned 3 this week. It was terrific we ate cake and he opened his gift and ran around with Buzz Lightyear “flying” in his arms. But I saw something different in the happy scene. In his sweet capable hands I saw his fork, no longer unsure and in need of mommy’s hands. I heard his happy chatter, full of words from his ever growing vocabulary and tinted by a quick wit that often seems out of place in a 3 year old. I felt his impatience as I hugged just a little too long, squeezing goodbye to the two year old he would never again be. For a moment I could see him, no longer a baby or even a preschooler, I could envision that someday in that seat would be a man. These moments of childhood are slow and relaxed to my son but to me they fly at a disconcerting speed. Every moment I miss with him is irreplaceable, because he will never again be this little. Once a moment has passed it can not be regained. This is why I am leaving teaching next year to stay home for a time, as a teacher I live in a different kind of time warp, one where children never age. See to a Kindergarten teacher children are perpetually 5 to a 8th grade teacher they always stay 13 and so on and so on. When I return to teaching it will be as if I never left. Whatever grade I teach, as always, my students will progress only 1 year before I set them free and begin again. But at home time moves as steady as a heartbeat, never truly ceasing even in the moments you hear nothing. It is here, in this constant forward, motion I find myself thankful that God has allowed  for me to be home these next few years.

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One thought on “The Childhood Time Warp

  1. First off I would like to say wonderful blog!

    I had a quick question which I’d like to ask if you don’t mind.

    I was curious to know how you center yourself and clear your thoughts prior to writing.
    I’ve had a tough time clearing my mind in getting my ideas out there.
    I truly do enjoy writing but it just seems like the first 10 to
    15 minutes are usually lost simply just trying to figure out how to begin. Any
    ideas or hints? Thank you!

    Like

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